Storm Sunset At Misty by Pagani
Since my fourth birthday, when I found myself sitting on a curb contemplating the nature of time, I’ve realized that my brain is wired a little differently than the rest of the world. Some would just conclude that I must be crazy, but that would be an over simplistic analysis. By that standard, Einstein and da Vinci were crazy, too.
As a person born with a hyperactive analytical mind, I spend more time thinking about deep things than the average person. I probably do as much in depth analysis in a day as the average person does in a lifetime. There is no bragging here; only a realistic statement of the facts.
You might conclude that this is basically worthless. After all, I’m not rich or famous, am I? No, I’m an outsider..an outcast. For every person who believes I am a genius, another thinks I’m deranged. And if money is the standard of human worth, perhaps I have nothing to show for my brilliance.
Well that much is at least partially true. However, whether my labors will be worth something is a tale that can only be told with the passage of time. I write things, and someday what I write might mean something. I don’t only write, however, I also invent.
One of the things I invented many years ago was a referential form of comedy I called abstract expressionist humor. I gave it that name because it involved short statements that were very funny – IF you knew something. Ignorant people would simply be perplexed.
An example of abstract expressionist humor: “This just in: Thousands of atheists riot in the streets after discovering a blank sheet of paper on a cartoonist’s desk.” If you don’t know much about current events, you won’t get the reference. If you do, you’ll laugh.
Nobody understood abstract expressionist comedy when I invented it, but that was a long long time ago and today abstract expressionist humor (although seldom called by the name I gave it) is the number one most popular style of humor with generation Y folk. Some contemporary popular examples: “Tom is NOT My Friend”, “More Cowbell” and “Pedro Lacks Political Experience”. If you know stuff, they are funny; if you don’t they’re just words: Much like abstract expressionist painting.
I also invented object-oriented/ perceptual puzzle abstraction as a method for developing an abstract expressionist painting using logical methodology in order to produce a piece of abstract art that bears an actual physical relationship to subject matter as well as a specific intent. It is true, most people don’t “get it”, but I believe that someday this will be seen as a revolution in abstract art. Again, only time will tell of course.
I continue to look for new and creative things to do; I labor to expand the grand unification of practical metaphysics and traditional religion, and I philosophize on the meaning of life.
To many, these things will be seen as useless. But I believe that something better than that will come of my work – even if it is not in my lifetime. And I’m certainly in good company.
I also have a very hyperactive mind the same as your self,i hate this factor about myself yes everyone either thinks im very strange or very gifted.
i just dont know what to do about this..
I feel the same. I see myselft writing that post. I think I’m different than everyone else. Maybe gifted, maybe crazy. But I’ve figured my mind works in a very different way than most people’s minds do.
I’ve though it could be ADHD but I’m not sure, even if it was I’ve decided not to take medication and to learn to control my mind, and even though it’s being hard at the moment. I’m sure I will succeed.
honestly, my interpretation of your words is a picture of someone compensating with pride because he may feel more an outcast than he may wish to admit to himself. although, i am most probably very wrong on this front. i wonder what worth can be derived from work… really? what reference to good are we playing at when we wish upon time to tell of value? call me ignorant and perplexed, but what meaning is found in such comedy that biases a select few. something in the back of my head lends me to believe the only real worth of something is that which lies in connection, not in rational thought, in analytical reasoning, but in the soul… or the limbic system, whatever you wish to call it. but then again, perhaps im only pointing at my own insecurities.
but again honestly, i feel most everyone feels different from everyone else, but obviously for someone with your gifts and talents its not too hard to see the grand picture, the picture of deep down, we’re probably all the same.
i understand perfectly what happens to you…my mind it is like going highspeed…and i know that i am not thinking like other persons…and it seems that nobody understands my manner of thinking…i started to think that i am crazy …all the analysis that i do in my mind every day i know that is useless…but i can not do anything about it…often i can not fall asleep because my mind it is working and working..
i have the same problem, but i took it as a gift and used it to become promotions manager of the largest entertainment co in the uk. downside lack of sleep and turning to booze as remedy. i used to sleep with a pen and pad beside the bed
As many others that have come to this site in search of answers, i have too come here in search of an explanation to what can only be described as self inflicted torture at this point. I also feel some semblance to the crazy words that you have written here and some relation to the comedy that you have written, not to mention your writing style in particular. (it is worth noting that getting this far into the paragraph i have lost track of my thoughts many times over) i see in you writing style the way that you do not represent your point but tend to wander. (like myslelf) i have lost countless jobs due to my inane inability to focus into tasks that to me seem irrelevant/pointless/arbitrary and it is getting to a point in my life were i just feel that i am purely existing and that is all. Once again i have spent the night laying awake, sleepless – my mind buzzing with stupid and irrelevant thoughts – congesting my mind to the point where i cannot full asleep, all i do is grind my teeth to the sounds of the clock ticking. My eyes are wide and i cant stop blinking to the point where my eyelids feel like they are bruising. When my daughter was born i seeked to put an end to this mindset as to commit myself to a job and become a “regular” person (as much as it pains me to do so) i was referred to a local mental health specialist and it was not long before i was diagnosed with ADHD and was thrown a prescription for Dexiamphetamines. The medication at first felt like it was working, there was certainly a change – however it was months later that i came to the conclusion that my mindset was still far from ordinary. The medication only focused my attention, my mind was still buzzing, only to a more specific output. It did not fix my problem and i ceased to take my medication. I have a friend who has Aspurgers Syndrome, which if you are unaware of, is on the spectrum of autism. Me and my friend spoke about his autism often, as i was interested to know everything about it (i love learning) To both of our surprise we shared a lot of common traits typical to the disorder, with few important differences, where he did not understand or convey things like emotion, sarcasm and all those little things – i did. So im not sure what i have, im damn sure that its not ADHD. I really do not know what to do with myself, i lack elemental things such as drive, ambition, confidence, coordination, focus, concentration…unfortunately without these things i am left rather…f##ked to put it as simply as possible. Sometimes i feel that i should just lay down and just wait for my body and mind to shut down and finally achieve some silence, i feel that is something i could be quite talented at.
I believe I have a hyperactive mind. I have a friend who I also believe has a hyperactive mind. We both know we have hyperactive minds and we use them voraciously together. We get into deep discussions on deep philosophical questions, the unanswerable questions like “Why is there something rather than nothing?” and “Why are things the way they are?”. We try to answer things that are impossible to answer, and the scary part is this; we answer them and then keep going deeper into thought, I get ideas and thought of infinity a lot, which seems to be the most you can think about as a human. I feel like I push my mind to its limits sometimes. I dont know how I do it, if its something a lot of people can. Is it something everyone can do but just a lot of people dont? It scares me sometimes, i dont know if im crazy or brilliant.