Posts from ‘May, 2005’

Admittedly my art goes off in way too many directions at once. People who know art keep telling me that I need to stick to one thing. Well, to some degree I do … at least, seasonally.

In the rainy winter and spring I did a lot of expressionist paintings, often with a death theme. The sun is temporarily back now, so I have an opportunity to do some of my abstract work – which must be done outdoors, and I will also probably end up doing more Oregon landscapes. I probably should listen to my critics, but whatever style(s) I drop, I will also be alienating some collectors. I see it as a no-win situation. My critics say that every artist needs to be known as the person who does (x). Yeah, I know.

I’ve talked about this before. I think I get obsessed with what I’m doing and whether or not I’m doing something wrong when my energy level gets low – as it has been quite low lately.

My health problems have progressed somewhat so I’m finding myself more restricted. This, in turn, probably causes me to be introspective about my art.

Well, who knows what will happen. I’ve even put off getting ready for upcoming art shows. I just don’t know what I want to do anymore. Or perhaps I know but somehow can’t make myself do it.

It all comes back to art needing to be more than just art. And don’t kid yourself, it isn’t just me. Artists are a freakish lot, and pretty mental. I’m just one of those, really, if a whole lot smarter and deeper-thinking than your average schlock-producer.

As kid, they nicknamed me Univac… or The Retard, depending on who you asked. As an adult zealous religionist, they called me The Bulldog. Now I’m just a crazy artist trying to create meaning in a sea of meaninglessness.

Every human endeavor has its aficionados, and its purists. It has its own Taliban, too, who will punish you if you fail to follow in the line of orthodoxy. In painting, one orthodox view is that you must do ONE thing and one thing only, and to do otherwise will incur penalties.

This is one of the things that has held back my art, so I’m told: I am fluent in many styles, from my own special version of abstract expressionism to expressionism to classical impressionism and the all too hip abstract impressionism. You can’t do that in art.

The Art Taliban tell me that unless I become known for one thing, I will never get anywhere. This conflict goes to the meaning and purpose of art, and how it diverges between the collector-commerical artist cabal and myself.

Art investors often look at one of a kind paintings like stock purchases: They want they want 15% minimum annual return on investment, the uniformity of McDonald’s french fries and the brand name recognition of Sony. But art isn’t stock, it’s the soul of an artist.

I am my art, and one thing that I’ve discovered in my life is that I’m not the kind of person who is good at being only one thing. My mind reaches too far for that.

I have a good relationship with collectors and sometimes I even feel guilty that I’m not “branded” enough for their tastes. No one should think that I have any hostility toward art investors, far from it. But somehow I must strike a balance between living the one life I have successfully, and being a successful producer of value-added, investment quality art. The latter is the icing on the cake for me but the only thing that matters to the investor, the former is what I need to survive.